I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
