i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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