it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
