11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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