The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
