im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
