We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
if only i could text you this smell
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
