Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
