So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
