see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
