Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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