She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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