Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
