Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
