she was so not down for the gang bang
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
