Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
420 ftw
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
