the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
