Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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