I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
