his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize