The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
