plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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