Got a toothbrush?
Can i not drive my cunt home
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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