I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
