not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
