we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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