There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize