Dual....:-)
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
