thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
