we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize