Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
