I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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