did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
