Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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