Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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