Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I stole a fireplace last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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