so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
