Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
