I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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