either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
