We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
