Its about making memories worth repressing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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