It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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