what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
