nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
