Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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