I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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