My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
