You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize