three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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