who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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