I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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