my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize