My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
