y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize