Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
