woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
