there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
