That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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