Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
