singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
